To jumble, mix and butcher a couple of metaphors, the Feb. 5 contests for Democratic ward committeeman in the 41st and 50th wards are about the shelf life of the occupant of a job which is barely worth a bucket of warm spit.

A long-ago vice president, Texan John Nance Garner, who served from 1933 to 1941, opined that his job "isn't worth a bucket of warm spit." That was back in the days when spittoons were still in use. Without city, county or state patronage, a contemporary Chicago committeeman's job is the equivalent of Garner's, and the occupant is often mistaken for a spittoon.

But the wards' incumbents, Ralph Capparelli (41st) and Berny Stone (50th), are still salable, well known commodities. They've been political fixtures for almost 40 years, and even though both are octogenarians -- Capparelli is 82 and Stone 80 -- their political shelf life has not yet expired.

Amusingly, or perhaps ironically, neither professes to want the job. But neither will surrender it. "I'm running because nobody from my organization wanted it," said Capparelli, who has been a committeeman since 1992 and who was a state representative from 1971 to 2004. "I'm running because the kid (state Senator Ira Silverstein) didn't ask me for it and went behind my back and tried to steal it from me," said Stone, who has been a committeeman since 1998 and an alderman since 1973.

"I didn't know I was running against a saint," smirked Frank Coconate, one of Capparelli's three opponents. "We need a committeeman who wants the job, not somebody who can't find somebody else to take it. The job is an opportunity, not a sacrifice."

Here are analyses of each race:

50th Ward (West Rogers Park: Howard Street to Peterson Avenue, west of Ravenswood Avenue to Kedzie Avenue, and to Ridgeway Avenue south of Devon Avenue): Stone, one of two Jewish aldermen, is acerbic, crusty, curmudgeonly and much beloved by his Jewish constituents. He has chutzpah in abundance, and he is never hesitant to verbally his foes. Unfortunately for Stone, his ward is becoming less Jewish by the minute, with an exploding immigrant population.

According to the 2000 census, the Jewish population of the ward was around 25 percent, but Jews comprise more than 40 percent of the voter pool and more than 50 percent of the vote in a normal Democratic primary. Asians (including Filipinos, Vietnamese, Koreans, Chinese, Japanese and Thais) comprise 25 percent of the population, non-Jewish whites 20 percent, Asian Indians and Pakistanis 10 percent, and Muslims, Russians and Hispanics the remainder.

The upside for Silverstein is that 2008 will be an abnormal primary, with a huge turnout. Silverstein, Stone's onetime protege, has endorsed Barack Obama for president, while Stone has endorsed Hillary Clinton. Two 2007 aldermanic losers, Naisy Dolar and Greg Brewer, have endorsed Silverstein, as has U.S. Representative Jan Schakowsky, county Commissioner Larry Suffredin, who is running for state's attorney, and state Representative Lou Lang. Expect the ward to be aswarm with Obama-Schakowsky-Suffredin-Silverstein workers. Also, Stone won't be the beneficiary of workers from outside the ward sent by friendly committeemen, as occurred in the 2007 aldermanic race.

Silverstein's downside is that the office of president is first on the ballot and committeeman is last, after convention delegates and judges. In 2004 8,238 Democratic ballots were cast in the ward, and Stone, running unopposed for committeeman, got 5,919 votes. This year the Democratic turnout will be close to 10,000, but barely 7,500 will vote for committeeman.

Stone's strategy is to appeal to his Jewish base, particularly elderly voters. That should be worth an easy 3,500 to 4,000 votes. Stone already is ripping Silverstein for his alleged dishonesty. "He's telling Jewish voters that he's running in order to prevent Naisy from winning in 2011, but then he's telling everybody else that he will support her," Stone said. "Why else would she endorse him?"

Stone also claims that Silverstein is "another Howie Carroll," a 26-year state senator and ward committeeman who lost to Schakowsky in 1998. "He isn't well known, can't make a decision, won't have regular office hours, and has done nothing during 9 years in Springfield."

Silverstein, understandably, is livid. "Berny is just desperate," he said. "His campaign consists of lies and rumors. I've made no commitment to Naisy. I've been extraordinarily productive in Springfield, getting funds for district projects and sponsoring hate-crime laws. I have office hours two nights a week."

"It's time for a change, and Berny won't change," Silverstein added.

"What's wrong with that kid?" snapped Stone. "I told him I would resign (as committeeman) after a year and give it to him, but he wasn't straightforward with me." Retorts Silverstein: "That's another lie. And it's dishonest of him to run for a job that he's not going to keep."

My prediction: Stone won the 2007 aldermanic runoff by just 661 votes, with 52.9 percent of the votes cast, spending $550,910. The final vote was 5,965-5,304. If Silverstein can attract half the anti-Stone vote and chip away a third of the pro-Stone vote, he will win. But the "Howie Carroll Syndrome" looms. Silverstein has not had a tough race since 1998, he's certainly not as well known as Stone, and the ward is changing. In a squeaker, Stone will win -- extending his shelf life for a few more years.

41st Ward (Far Northwest Side: Edison Park, Norwood Park, Oriole Park, part of Edgebrook): In the Democratic committeeman's race, it's a battle between "Trojan Horse," "Crazy Horse," "Ancient Horse" and "Invisible Horse."

Like Stone, Capparelli insists that he would have given the job to anybody with a pulse who also was a member of his organization, which is the weakest Democratic organization in Chicago. Despite thousands of city and county workers, the 41st Ward has a Republican alderman and a Republican state representative, and it produces a large Republican vote in state and federal contests.

"Capparelli's organization is a joke," said Coconate, the "Crazy Horse" contender, who claims he was fired from his city job because of his blistering criticism of the Daley Administration and his short-lived support of Jesse Jackson Jr. for mayor. "I want to register Democrats and elect Democrats," said Coconate, who runs the Northwest Side Democratic Organization.

"The party is a mess," Coconate said. "We've got incompetents like Stroger and Blagojevich in office because people like Capparelli put them there."

"Coconate is the joke," Capparelli responded. "He loses every time he runs. He wants to tear down, not build the party." Capparelli, "Ancient Horse," said he has workers in each of the ward's 51 precincts, and he secured 2,100 signatures on his nominating petitions. Capparelli said he is supporting Clinton for president and Tom Allen for state's attorney.

Capparelli said he would have "gladly" given the committeeman's job to John Malatesta, Tom Jaconetty, Jim Sachay or Mike Marzullo, had they wanted it. "But I'm not going to quit, and let somebody like Coconate take it," he said.

"Enough of the bickering," proclaimed restaurant owner and former Edison Park Chamber of Commerce president Mary O'Connor, who has become the "Trojan Horse" candidate in the race. "We need to work together to get things done," O'Connor said. "We need to work with the alderman and the mayor. We need a stronger Democratic party."

O'Connor saved some choice words for Coconate: "He's a whiner" who if elected as committeeman would use the job "as a platform to attack the mayor," she said. "She's a Republican," Coconate retorts. "She would use the job to keep the Republicans dominant."

O'Connor is a lifelong Northwest Sider and a Taft graduate. Born in 1956, she was eligible to vote in 25 primary elections between 1977 and 2007, but according to Coconate, she voted in only two primaries, once as a Democrat and most recently, in 2004, as a Republican. O'Connor admits that she did vote Republican in 2004, "as a personal favor to Mike McAuliffe," the incumbent committeeman who was being challenged by Walter Dudycz. She said that she "can't remember" the times she voted Democratic.

The fourth candidate in the race, "Invisible Horse," is Pat Mulligan, a retired restaurant owner. Mulligan denied that she is a "shill" for Coconate or that she is running to take votes away from O'Connor. "He (Coconate) did not help me get on the ballot," she said. "I am running to help the party."

My prediction: The 2004 primary attracted 10,134 Democrats, and Capparelli, running unopposed, got 7,549 votes. There's no "Obamamania" in the 41st Ward, so turnout won't eclipse 11,000. Against one foe, Capparelli would have a problem. He has few workers, and he has been out of public office since 2004. Against three opponents, he will win.

O'Connor is hoping that older women will vote for Clinton and her and that McAuliffe and 41st Ward Alderman Brian Doherty can throw her some Republican crossover votes. Coconate is hoping for a voter rebellion. No such luck. It will be Capparelli with 50 percent the vote, O'Connor with 25 percent and Coconate with 20 percent.

Editor's Note: Stewart, an attorney, defended Coconate in a challenge to his nominating petitions.